Oh the tangled webs we weave,
The stupid shit we do.
Words strangled upon the lips
Wet with venomous dew.
There lie mangled solemn oaths;
Sincerely they were sworn.
The bells jangled in mockery
Of the day when white was worn.
In new-fangled self-centeredness,
The conscience left to wilt,
Brightly dangled forbidden fruit
Poisons the soul with guilt.

Bone-dry black
Then flame flutters
Darkness banished
Instantaneous illumination
Stability to speed
A case of catalyst
Gleam for the guilty
Engraved with a name
Dust into dust
Strong crumbles
Scattered powder
Shattered structure
Contracts and laws
Physics' court jester
Count by precedence
Of the broken and bent
Elevated alchemy
Lead into light
Sparkling mid-air
Everything glitters

I still miss you

Though I do not want you

Your lies and how you vanished

Shot to hell my sense of closure

You were so sweet

So trusting and kind

Your faithfulness and faith in me

Changed my mind and won me over

I'm sorry for a lot

For how I treated you

For trying to find the right path

Gave you what you wanted, but didn't need

I wish I'd known

My mistake was so final

I once trusted you enough

To cut and make me bleed

I hope you understand

More than you did before

That love is not a plaything

That stupidity has consequences

I wish you didn't know

That loving won't make someone stay

That being loved won't change your mind

That it's treacherous to trust your senses

Sometimes I wonder

Why you pretended at the end

Asked for my forgiveness

Used me and left again once I took the cat

It's unlike you

To be so heartless

I guess I earned it

But I wish you hadn't become that

Because of me.

From the treasure of my heart

My mouth shall speak

Careful constructions

Measured and mortared

So they won't fall apart

Paint with colored streaks

Paper functions

As a soul's thin shard

A mirror for sadness

Joy, love, confusion

Turn the opaque white

To the clearest window

A stained-glass mess

Sharp shatters' illusion

Smoke and light

Song, dance, and show

The grand presentation

The structure of grace

Attempted transparency

Are no offhanded endeavor

No mere stray motivations

Pave the path to this place

Cost emotional currency

Demand pain with the pleasure

So in this calmness of storm

Tranquil waters unstirred

Peaceful and content

No extremes to pour

The mirror hangs forlorn

All sadness seems cured

The bottles I sent

Never reached the far shore

Feelings I canned

Their sweetness preserved

Relationship's richness remains

The fullness lulls to sleep

In this lush, green land

Safety undeserved

No volcanos or chains

Or love I can't keep

Monochromatic life

I am happy here

But I seek the expression

I had once before.

I'm done writing for you

Stop blocking me in

I'm finding something new

I won't be calling again

I'm far too convinced

I can't be good enough

I've had a hard time since

You asked me to just be tough

Your encouragements and songs

Playlists and empowerments

Ring empty, hollow, wrong

They only make me tense

Mistrustful and cautious

Promises are meaningless

I find old plans are nautious

Holes and tears in the seamless

Way things were supposed to be

You had it all mapped out

To-do items, one two three

That you never brought about

It was supposed to be you

I'm so thankful it's not

Your words weren't true

I'm leaving that future to rot.

P.O.W.

Snap back like a bowstring
Ringing in my ears
Kinked-up as an old phone cord
Fingerpainting smears
Sit up straight and notice
All the crackling and pops
Wake up and smell the coffee
Order life on the rocks
I'd hold that thought a moment
If it didn't scald and burn
Drop the ball into the street
We live but we don't learn
The ropes experience taut
Stretched and frayed I'm praying
This doesn't make me snap
Opportunity or challenge
Both might be a trap
Inspired to climb higher
Winding up the twisted stairs
One flight at a time, no mind
I only work in pairs
Dizzying motivation high
That brought me back to earth
Reality is spinning out
Now was rebellion worth
All the endless wars I fought?

Therefore,
Schmitty

Conexus Dawn

It’s cold and dark and empty
Aboard the Conexus Dawn
In the heartless voids of space
Suspended gaunt and wan
Spinning in a daydream
Glowing, vacant eyes
Reaching without touching
Brushed by soft starsighs
Floating amidst tendrils
Dusty red across her face
Wrapped in white, forgotten ice
Gauzy lattice shines like lace
Reflecting wayward moonshine
Forsaken souls, drunk on death
Skeleton crew stiff in state,
Sentinels standing guard on what is left
Of the dream far-reaching
Past what they could grasp
Fallen on the frontier
Barren, lifeless, last

Therefore,
Schmitty

Breaking Free

Set my poetry in motion
Thaw the time I froze within
The dull metallic grind
Daily turns my dreams to dust
A shimmer in the wind
That blows a changeless chill
Across a wasteland soul
Dry and weary, let me drink my fill

Set my feet in motion
To the rhythm of your heart-
Beat, fit the one I find
In between your breaths
I sit stoic, disengaged
Watching the others fly
Let me dance on air
As you hold me, when I feel you sigh

Set me free forever
Loose my imagery again
The words got lost somewhere
With my ability to trust
Confident insecurity
I can do anything, but no matter
Remind me how it is to be whole
Find the princess in these tatters.

Personal Psalm #4: I miss You

I miss your presence in my life
Your voice next to my ear
To see your form before my eyes
Your scent so clean and clear
A feeling yes, but so much more
Awareness that you're there
The time I didn't spend with you
Exposed my needs, laid bare
I can't survive without your touch
How quickly I forget
I wish I'd never walked away
My primary regret
Can't I now crumple at your feet
Your hand laid on my head?
My rest is in your presence had
Your robe the softest bed
When I am lost, your wings are near
My security
When wearied in the wilderness
The one who carries me
Your tenderness, oh Lord my God
On which my days depend
Makes every struggle sweeter taste
Your own You do defend.

Therefore,
Schmitty

BKN011

A hard gray sky
Broke over November
Like a sudden goodbye
It hit way too hard
Sunlight through cracks
More of a trickle
Couldn't stay intact
The clouds got too brittle
The days went unmoved
Somber mood notwithstanding
Pleas misconstrued
Collapsed on the ground
Mission unknown
Failed in the telling
November-ward blown
To the loneliness isle.

Therefore,
Schmitty

Please,
No...

Emily's Tresses

A shining crown of glory
Sits atop her head
A veil of glistening gold
And the sparkles that it sheds
A queen so tall and regal
Such dignity and grace
Firm in will and action
Who's worthy to see her face?
The framing silk yet softens
Her beauty, striking still
The golden light continues
To rooms with radiance fill
Majestic mane that falls
The lion's envy steals
But the veil hides not her eyes
The awe-struck peasant kneels.

Therefore,
Schmitty

I Know

I don't have to see stars
To know there are heavens
I don't have to lie down
To know peace is real
I don't have to see blood
To know I'm forgiven
I don't have to feel you
To know that you care
I don't have to escape
To know this is too small
I don't have to feel fear
To know what courage is
I don't have to jump out
To know how to free fall
I don't have to let go
To know what I have
I don't have to be right
To know what I should do
I don't have to miss you
To know I need you near
I don't have to tell lies
To know the value of truth
I don't need consequences
To know when I've done wrong.

Therefore,
Schmitty

What I Believe In

Staring at the white
Clear my thoughts from black to red
If the colors strain out right
And the words are rightly fed
Then the prisms fall all brightly
And illuminate the glass
While the world looks without interest
As a blind, unthinking mass
I'm sick of all the hate songs
Of why we are at war
I'm tired of depression
I won't take it any more
Let the guns blaze on, the dying
Well yet testify themselves
If right is democratic
Then morality gets shelved
I'll defend what I believe in
From my neighbors just as well
As the enemy attacker
That wants my friends in hell
So have all your opinions
After all, it is your right
And leave defense to those who care
Enough for it to fight.

Therefore,
Schmitty

Eleven

Eleven more days of control
Eleven days to turn my world around
Eleven more days to be my own person
Eleven days before I'm half or whole
Eleven more days until the future is found
Eleven days of my self-desertion
Eleven more days for the easy way
Eleven days of choices
Eleven more days of freedom
Eleven days to not say
Eleven more days of voices
Eleven days to become numb
Eleven more days to give up
Eleven days to be strong
Eleven more days to think it out
Eleven days to stare at this cup
Eleven more days to be wrong
Eleven days to cry and shout
It's only just the beginning.

Therefore,
Schmitty

Little Random

In this moment there is music
In my soul there is dancing
The confusion is gone
Replaced by the clarity of what is
The haze drifts away
I am what I am
And that is all I need to be.

Therefore,
Schmitty

Personal Psalm #3: Abba, fix.

My heart sickens within me.
You have afflicted me
With love for my enemies.
Deliver me from these binds!
Grant me my apathy!
Leave them to their perdition
To their paths of self-destruction.
May their actions
Be Your judgment upon them.
For "revenge is mine," saith the Lord.

And yet I ask You for freedom
I ask You to fix my heart.
I ask for a broken and contrite spirit
Should that breaking be painless?
Should freedom come
Outside of forgiveness?

And should I consider myself
Better in any way?
Am I not on the same path?
Would that I had humility
To awake from myself
At the sight of their doom
That the doom of my enemies
Would warn me.
Fashion my spirit in fear
And rescue me from their fate.
Moreover, their fate is not certain
They are Yours
Save Your own.

Direct me, then.
I can do nothing.
Surely I am worthless to them.
But fashion me after Your will.
May I learn from them
May they be saved
And so save us all.

Abba, fix.

Therefore,
Schmitty

Hmph.

Blog a day for a month? I think not.

This was funny though.

"Let him kiss me wit da kissus of hiz mouf--
for yer love be moar delitefool den cheezbugers. Srsly."

Srsly awsum.

Therefore,
Schmitty

Shiny!

Not engaged, but shiny. Cool. :-D

Therefore,
Schmitty

Schmitty Psalm #2

I cry out to You, my Savior, my Refuge.
My enemies encircle me with false embraces,
With lying lips they praise me.
Remove them from my presence
Deliver me from their midst,
Surround me with those who love You;
Those who serve the Lord, the true God.
Religion does not satisfy my thirst for You,
But godly living draws me near to Your heart.
My enemies bind me with cords of tradition:
Woven with good intentions,
But decayed by legality and hypocrisy.
Give me a heart like Yours,
Renew my desire for Your ways
And direct my paths for Your pleasure
Then I will honor You, in freedom and joy.
Those who oppose me would tie me down
But they will see my joy and Your favor,
And envy me.
Make Your servant an example of Your goodness
And put my enemies to shame.

Therefore,
Schmitty