I still miss you

Though I do not want you

Your lies and how you vanished

Shot to hell my sense of closure

You were so sweet

So trusting and kind

Your faithfulness and faith in me

Changed my mind and won me over

I'm sorry for a lot

For how I treated you

For trying to find the right path

Gave you what you wanted, but didn't need

I wish I'd known

My mistake was so final

I once trusted you enough

To cut and make me bleed

I hope you understand

More than you did before

That love is not a plaything

That stupidity has consequences

I wish you didn't know

That loving won't make someone stay

That being loved won't change your mind

That it's treacherous to trust your senses

Sometimes I wonder

Why you pretended at the end

Asked for my forgiveness

Used me and left again once I took the cat

It's unlike you

To be so heartless

I guess I earned it

But I wish you hadn't become that

Because of me.

From the treasure of my heart

My mouth shall speak

Careful constructions

Measured and mortared

So they won't fall apart

Paint with colored streaks

Paper functions

As a soul's thin shard

A mirror for sadness

Joy, love, confusion

Turn the opaque white

To the clearest window

A stained-glass mess

Sharp shatters' illusion

Smoke and light

Song, dance, and show

The grand presentation

The structure of grace

Attempted transparency

Are no offhanded endeavor

No mere stray motivations

Pave the path to this place

Cost emotional currency

Demand pain with the pleasure

So in this calmness of storm

Tranquil waters unstirred

Peaceful and content

No extremes to pour

The mirror hangs forlorn

All sadness seems cured

The bottles I sent

Never reached the far shore

Feelings I canned

Their sweetness preserved

Relationship's richness remains

The fullness lulls to sleep

In this lush, green land

Safety undeserved

No volcanos or chains

Or love I can't keep

Monochromatic life

I am happy here

But I seek the expression

I had once before.

I'm done writing for you

Stop blocking me in

I'm finding something new

I won't be calling again

I'm far too convinced

I can't be good enough

I've had a hard time since

You asked me to just be tough

Your encouragements and songs

Playlists and empowerments

Ring empty, hollow, wrong

They only make me tense

Mistrustful and cautious

Promises are meaningless

I find old plans are nautious

Holes and tears in the seamless

Way things were supposed to be

You had it all mapped out

To-do items, one two three

That you never brought about

It was supposed to be you

I'm so thankful it's not

Your words weren't true

I'm leaving that future to rot.

P.O.W.

Snap back like a bowstring
Ringing in my ears
Kinked-up as an old phone cord
Fingerpainting smears
Sit up straight and notice
All the crackling and pops
Wake up and smell the coffee
Order life on the rocks
I'd hold that thought a moment
If it didn't scald and burn
Drop the ball into the street
We live but we don't learn
The ropes experience taut
Stretched and frayed I'm praying
This doesn't make me snap
Opportunity or challenge
Both might be a trap
Inspired to climb higher
Winding up the twisted stairs
One flight at a time, no mind
I only work in pairs
Dizzying motivation high
That brought me back to earth
Reality is spinning out
Now was rebellion worth
All the endless wars I fought?

Therefore,
Schmitty

Conexus Dawn

It’s cold and dark and empty
Aboard the Conexus Dawn
In the heartless voids of space
Suspended gaunt and wan
Spinning in a daydream
Glowing, vacant eyes
Reaching without touching
Brushed by soft starsighs
Floating amidst tendrils
Dusty red across her face
Wrapped in white, forgotten ice
Gauzy lattice shines like lace
Reflecting wayward moonshine
Forsaken souls, drunk on death
Skeleton crew stiff in state,
Sentinels standing guard on what is left
Of the dream far-reaching
Past what they could grasp
Fallen on the frontier
Barren, lifeless, last

Therefore,
Schmitty

Breaking Free

Set my poetry in motion
Thaw the time I froze within
The dull metallic grind
Daily turns my dreams to dust
A shimmer in the wind
That blows a changeless chill
Across a wasteland soul
Dry and weary, let me drink my fill

Set my feet in motion
To the rhythm of your heart-
Beat, fit the one I find
In between your breaths
I sit stoic, disengaged
Watching the others fly
Let me dance on air
As you hold me, when I feel you sigh

Set me free forever
Loose my imagery again
The words got lost somewhere
With my ability to trust
Confident insecurity
I can do anything, but no matter
Remind me how it is to be whole
Find the princess in these tatters.